Thursday, December 10, 2009

Book 73 of 2009: Sausagey Santa by Carlton Mellick III

Sausagey Santa is the story of the Fry family and what happens to them one Christmas season. The Fry family is made of Matthew Fry, with "the sly guy" hairstyle, his wife Decapitron, who thinks she is a Transformer, and their four children. Matthew would love to not be married to Decapitron, but he knows that anything he does against her wishes will cause her to annihilate him, so he is stuck where he is. On Christmas Eve Decapitron allows sits around telling the kids Santa stories. One in particular is about Sausagey Santa and Matthew doesn't approve of his children hearing the story. The tale describes Santa as being made out of meat goo and linked together in order to form the shape of a man. However, this particular Christmas, Santa made quite a ruckus showing up at the Fry household and when Matthew and Decapitron go downstairs to investigate, Matthew is shocked to find that it is Sausagey Santa rather than Santa Claus that is in their house and instead of drinking milk he prefers beer. Santa enjoys a short visit with the Frys and is about to head off when he hears a lot of noise stirring up outside. He informs the Fry family that they are all in danger. They later discover that it is an anti-Christmas spirit that is after Santa and trying to ruin Christmas. Now, with the help of the Fry family and his elves, Sausagey Santa is attempting to salvage Christmas this year!

Readers like to get in the spirit of the season by reading a holiday novel or two, but some don't like those feel good, mushy, happy-go-lucky romance books and such that are easy to find on the shelves during the holiday season. Sausagey Santa is the answer for that are looking for those hard to find books! Also, if not familiar with Carlton Mellick III and/or the greatness of the horror sub-genre, Bizarro, this is a great introduction to both! I can only imagine what possibly inspired the ideas for some of the scenes that are depicted in this novel. In particular, I would one day like discuss with Carlton Mellick III exactly where he came up with the idea for "Television Cake" and that's something you read about in just the first chapter of this treasure of a book. There is much more hidden within the pages of Sausagey Santa and every chapter contains something to make your jaw drop and you're mind to ask "What the f---?!?!" So buy up a copy, make some hot cocoa, and snuggle up in the blankets and read this book! And afterward, I guarantee you'll be hoping that it's the "Original Santa Claus" coming to visit you Christmas Eve rather than Sausagey Santa... unless, of course, you are REALLY twisted!

Contains: Adult Language, Adult Situations, Violence, Sex

Review also posted at

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